So...What Happens Next?

Today, I thought I'd do a little life-update for you guys. Where I'm at, where I'm planning to go, and what I hope the future holds for me. 

I'll start by saying that this year is absolutely not ending the way I thought it would be, but that's okay. I'm a very organised person, so I like to think that I can plan my life step by step and that everything will automatically go to plan. Oh no, no, no...That has definitely not been the case for me in recent years. Saying that, you would've thought that I'd learnt that I can't control everything in my life by now. 

Apparently not. 

I began my year working part-time in a cafe (I job I adored) that I'd been working in for the past 3 years through school. It was a lovely little job and I enjoyed it until the very end, but in September of this year I decided that I needed a change. I was seeing the same faces every day and I was falling out of love with the work I was doing. It was becoming repetitive and I knew that if I stayed, I might never leave. I quit and decided to move onto something else. At this point I was also beginning my degree at The Open University, studying English Literature and Creative Writing (which I am LOVING). 

I then began another job, but I was beginning to feel extremely sad. I felt like I was just hopping from one part time job to another, and it just wasn't feeding my creativity or benefitting my future. I tried to see if I could face it if I adjusted my hours, but that didn't help at all. I felt down all the time and I was so upset that I couldn't even focus on my studies or the things that I loved, because I was so preoccupied with the things I didn't want to do. Needless to say, I quit that job quite recently. There was nothing wrong with the place itself whatsoever, the people were lovely and the environment was nice. It just wasn't right for me. 

Now, here we are. I decided after quitting that job that I wouldn't apply for anything that didn't feed me creatively or benefit my future. At the moment, my main focus is university (part time) and finding a full time job that really benefits me. One that makes me happy. Life is way to short to spend it doing something that doesn't benefit you or make you happy.

Alongside my studies, I'm contributing to my mum's furniture business which is where my income is coming from currently. I'm writing and shooting for this blog which is where the rest of my effort goes. I'm also planning to start making YouTube videos again because it's something I used to love doing - the only reason I stopped was because I felt embarrassed about what other people thought, but now that I'm in the mindset of 'fuck it', I'mma get back to it. You can subscribe to my Channel here - I'll be uploading twice a week! My first video back will be up on Sunday at 6pm.

The truth is, I'm not where I thought I would be at the beginning of the year. I'm in an even better place because none of it was planned. I am the happiest I've been in years because I'm working for myself (and my mum..), I'm studying a subject I love, I'm investing more time into the people I love and the things I love doing, and I'm really starting to feel like myself again. 

I guess the moral of the story is that things don't have to go to plan for them to be amazing, and life doesn't have to be perfect for it to be wonderful x

All photography by Nicole-Shola.